Before the Geneva Convention set humane protocols for paint-based warfare, armies often attempted to cripple enemy morale by spattering their national monuments with neon-yellow bullets. Expose your opponents to cruel and unusual colors with todays Groupon: for $30, you get 4.5 hours of field play with equipment rental and 500 paintballs at Adventure Paintball Park in Longbranch (a $60 value), about 35 minutes from Tacoma and 1.5 hours from Seattle.
Adventure Paintball Park outfits sharpshooters with all the gear needed to unleash a water-based fury of flamboyant colors on four separate fields strewn across 10 acres of wooded battlegrounds. A knowledgeable staff of instructors debriefs first-time players on safety procedures and frontline etiquette. Then players suit up with rented guns, masks, compressed-air tanks (a $40 value), and 500 rounds of ammunition (a $20 value). As strained negotiations collapse and battles commence, contestants are set loose to stealthily traverse paint-stained fields littered with muddy trenches, abandoned trailers, and improvised sandbag shelters. Staff members monitor battles at all times to ensure safety and balanced play while a ghostly gang of starved artists observes the proceedings with cold indifference.
Walk-on combat begins promptly at 12:30 p.m. on Saturdays, and players should arrive on time to capitalize on the days carnage. This Groupon may be used toward 3- or 4-hour private parties, which requires a reservation. Thrilling game-play scenarios, in which a park instructor is offered up as prey to teams of skilled trackers, are available for larger parties, and all participants can stay refreshed between battles with free refills of compressed air.
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