For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. Be pounded into the shape of relaxation with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour custom massage (a $75 value) at Bodies in Balance Massage Therapy in Amherst.
Bodies in Balance's muscle mender, Michael Millner, soothes tightened stress knots with a slew of revitalizing techniques. After a consultation, during which clients can call out specific problem areas or their favorite colors, bodies recline for a 60-minute custom mollycoddling, which targets specific aches and pains. Based in the Swedish circulatory style, each human tenderizing session blends elements of deep-tissue massage, trigger-point therapy, and hydrotherapy into a rejuvenating treatment that helps restore battered meat suits to their former glory. Meanwhile, athletes can reap the healing benefits of a sports massage to promote speedier regeneration from back injuries caused from doing improper handstands instead of defending themselves during boxing matches.
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