Contrary to popular belief, boats are actually much safer than cars, which inexplicably sink every time you drive them on water. Take a proper water-road ride with todays Groupon: for $35, you get a one-hour luxury-boat rental for up to 12 passengers from Captain Mike Finks Marina (a $70 value), located near the historic Bagnell Dam in Lake Ozark.
Captain Mike Finks Marina offers flotation-deficient day-trippers an assortment of buoyant boating options. This Groupon grants gill-less fish an opportunity to tour the Lake of the Ozarks aboard the luxurious 26-foot TriToon, which boasts 115 horsepower and room for renters to stow their favorite intramural football team. Aspiring splashers can earn their water wings by wading into the clean lake, and more guarded aqua admirers can sun themselves or respectfully curtsy on the boat's bow. After the hour of intensive outdoor relaxation, boaters can recuperate at one of the many waterside dining destinations.
Gas, oil, and tax are not included with the purchase of this Groupon, and a refundable $300 damage deposit is required to guard against schooner scars and water-borne paper cuts. Mariners born after January 1, 1984 are required to saturate sponge-like brains with an online boater-safety course. Verification of completion is required at the time of rental.
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