In the future, teeth will contain microchipscalled molar panelsthat collect the sun's energy to power gum chewing and forced smiling during awkward encounters with former guidance counselors. Benefit from current tooth-tending technologies with today's Groupon: for $109, you get a 60-minute in-office teeth-whitening treatment from DaVinci Teeth Whitening Systems (a $447 value). Redeem this Groupon for DaVinci services at Rockford Teeth Whitening on Charles Street.
In just one hour, the DaVinci Teeth Whitening System renders gum studs noticeably brighter. The office visit begins with a consultation; then a technician smothers chompers with a signature gel made from organic plants, minerals, and a single tail feather from a white rabbit. A specially designed LED laser light activates the solution, erasing graffiti left behind by tobacco, wine, coffee, and age from the highway overpass of each client's smile. Like housewarming gifts from a stalker, results are immediate.
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