In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon at East2West Massage, located inside the Alainn Tu Salon and Spa on Folsom Boulevard. Choose between two options:
East2West Massage compiles a coalition of certified massage maestros capable of transforming the stiffest of forms into serene symphonies of overjoyed muscles. The gentle pressure of a Swedish massage or the firm strokes of a deep-tissue session unearth stress particles lodged within your body before they are pressed and pulled outgently extracting your cares and woes and then calmly bludgeoning them to death with a scented candle or tranquilly drowning them in one of East2West's relaxing fountains. The internationally erudite massage therapists provide a variety of soothing one-hour ($75) and 90-minute ($100) services including hot-stone treatments and Hawaiian lomi-lomi massages, which are used to help Hawaiians overcome the soul-crushing stress of living in a tropical paradise for centuries. East2West also has a prenatal massage table for mothers-to-be, which allows women to lie facedown comfortably and safely during their massage.
As of November 15, 2011, East2West Massage has moved from its Sacramento location to Carmichael.
-   - I have never been one to seek regular spa treatments - until now. I have been going to East2West Massage for six months. I skipped my monthly appointment once and my body rebelled. The atmosphere is relaxing, and the Lomi Lomi massages are thorough and reasonably priced. AB42, SpaFinder
-   - A massage is an affordable way to take your body and mind on a small vacation. I have rebooked with East2West and I will be in at least 2 times a month!! Scootincurd, SpaFinder
-   - Excellent massages. This place is very clean and quiet; just what I want when I want to get away for an hour and a half. Joe M., Yelp
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