The Founding Fathers held their initial meetings in a neighborhood tavern, which explains why the Declaration of Independence's first draft had a long, rambling subsection devoted to how powdered wigs are a natural icebreaker. Revolt against the tyranny of boredom with today's Groupon: for $15, you get two tickets and a registration package to the Festivus Airing of Grievances bar tour, presented by the Five Points Association from 7 to 10 p.m. on Friday, December 2 (up to a $30 value).
The Five Points Association's fourth annual Airing of Grievances tour celebrates the right to complain, ushering guests on a 12-bar tromp through Five Points while they record criticisms of the world at large. Commencing at the Five Points fountain, patrons preregister at 6 p.m. to acquire free T-shirts, goodie bags, tour maps, and notepads before embarking on a self-guided sipping of 12 seasonal brews. At each stopincluding Pawley's Front Porch, The Thirst Parrot, and Village Idiot Pizza & Pubparticipants jot down a few grumbles about the economy, their boss, or the number of s's in the word stresslessness and then submit their protestations to a live DJ for public readings. Those sustaining the most egregious personal affronts walk home with the Art Vandelay Award for Greatest Grievances.
Prior to the crawl, Five Points retailers host a shopping spree from 5 to 8 p.m., lavishing guests in wine tastings, art exhibits, and a trunk show. Free rickshaw rides during the street fair leave legs limber for the evening's main event and keg power-lifting competitions.
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