Although inflatable muscle suits are easy to apply and double as flotation devices, natural brawn actually lifts heavy objects and doesn't deflate when given a routine allergy shot. Blow up your fitness routine with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a two-month gym membership and one-hour personal fitness session at Global Gym (a $127 value).
Global Gym's 20,000 square feet of workout terrain host cardio and strength-boosting gear that accommodate both solo exercisers and personal-training sessions. Guests can pedal in the bounds of a large cardio theatre, toning gams as they anchor eyes to onscreen entertainment. In the ladies-only fitness room, women jog on treadmills and tackle reps free of the cumbersome safety helmets usually needed for protection from rabid muttonchops. Members also attend a one-hour personal fitness session, absorbing the tailored wellness guidance of an experienced trainer to better craft a calorie-roasting routine. With a convenient 24-hour access card, members can bulk up before dawn and finally attain the ability to silence alarm clocks with one well-aimed shot-put. After hoisting free-weights, wearied limbs can sink into tanning beds and gild themselves in bronze ($4 for 20 minutes) or unwind beneath the practiced kneads of the gym's massage therapists for an additional fee.
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