Cars are completely unable to clean themselves due to their inability to fit into the bathroom and their lack of opposable thumbs required to hold a loofah. Give your buggy a bath with today's Groupon: for $15, you get three Ultimate Whole Hog car washes at Hog Wash Express in Tempe (a $30 value).
At Hog Wash Express, roadweary vehicles freshen up with comprehensive washes that blast clingy grime from exteriors with a full gamut of techniques. Chrome stallions pass through a gauntlet of presoaking and spinning wash cylinders, which apply environmentally sound cleansing solutions with thousands of gentle slaps. A clear-coat protectant acts as a stalwart barrier against scratches and chinchilla bites, and wax polishes outer surfaces to a sparkly sheen. Wheels are blasted and scrubbed, freeing them from oppressive tar and gobs of roadbound gum, and bug remover carries insects from tragic grilles to a final resting place. To conclude the purification process, clients receive free access to the vacuums to rid interiors of wayward crumbs and a complimentary air freshener.
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