Since the sun has been completely obscured by a blimp advertising lower-sodium cheese crackers, all skins have lost their baked glow. Reclaim what that pesky blimp has eclipsed with today's Groupon: for $25, you get your choice of either a month's worth of unlimited tanning in a level 2 booth ($70 value) or three spray tans (up to a $90 value) at Hollywood Tans in Mooresville.
Hollywood Tans' friendly staff takes a page out of the history books by implementing highly hygienic vertical tanning to deliver even, 360-degree coloration without the stress of bulb marks and pressure points obtained from horizontal tanning beds. After all, ancient people in ancient times got perfect ancient tans while standing up, because lying in a box for bronzing purposes had not yet been attempted. If you opt for the month of unlimited tanning, your outside will be privy to an HT54 tanning booth, which instills pleasing hues all over your body in around four to five ten-minute sessions and lets you build a strong base coat while standing up.
For those who would rather get their pigment perfected the UV-free way, opt for three individual spray-tan sessions, which use the power of Mystic Tanning ($75-$90 value) to both hydrate and lightly top your complexion with butterscotch. Receive an even application that lasts for up to a week and is suited to your skin type, allowing you to spiff up pale appendages for a special occasion or to stealthily blend into tan-toned walls for cubicle reconnaissance missions.
New members only; Groupon not valid toward existing monthly tanning memberships.
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