Like Samson, a man's physical strength is directly proportional to the length of his hair, which is why The Beatles spent most of the 1960s crushing classical marble busts with their bare hands. Trade some strength for a new look with today's Groupon to Knockouts Haircuts for Men.
After a consultation with a scissor-handed stylist, your Heavyweight haircut will kick off with a relaxing shampoo. As your stylist snips, shaves, and shears, direct your attention toward the many flat-screen TVs showing all the days top sports and a few of its bottom ones, such as the Worlds Slowest Man tournament. After the follicular wreckage is cleared with a second round of shampoo and a rinse, your stylist will initiate a scalp massage before arranging head-strands to your specifications. If you opt to receive the 90-minute Swedish massage, one of Knockouts' talented team members will use gentle but firm-pressured kneads and long connective strokes to improve circulation, ease muscle aches, and dissolve stress as swiftly as water does powdered Gatorade.
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