The Tooth Fairy is a burglarizing fetishist specializing in black-market ivory trade, and she must be stopped. Keep teeth in mouths and out of the hands of maniacal, winged phantasms with today's Groupon to Lana Rozenberg D.D.S.. Choose between the following options:
For $49, you get a dental-care package (a $455 total value). The package includes:
For $69, you get a dental-care package and teeth-whitening kit (a $705 total value). The package includes:
Dr. Lana Rozenberg and her dental dream team fuse the latest state-of-the-art tooth technology with the soothing ambiance of an upscale spa. During the one-hour dental exam, an expert hygienist thoroughly checks each mouth bone and surveys bites with a DIAGNOdent aida radiation-free laser cavity detector safe for use on expectant mothers and cell phones. Next, a set of digital, diagnostic x-rays allows the doctor to examine every crevice of the mouth cavern, before a thorough cleaning roots out deposits of plaque and food that can lead to cuspid corrosion. Finally, for clean grins in need of some extra sparkle, the Prophy-Jet polishing showers teeth with a powerful blast of diamond powder that removes extrinsic stains and increases street cred amongst fellow rap stars. Those who opt to supplement the dental-care package with a take-home teeth-whitening kit can harness the power of professional-strength whitening in the comforts of their own homes.
At Dr. Rozenberg's office, clients are invited into a relaxing space laden with fresh flowers, dimmed lights, and aromatherapy candles. Before the exam, patients can sip on a complimentary cup of tea and soak up the warmth of a heated neck wrap suffused with eucalyptus, cinnamon, and melted toothpaste.
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