Teeth have long been important to humans, allowing us to break down food, threaten prey, and bite our dates' fingernails during horror movies. Protect your pearly whites with today's Groupon: for $1,999, you get a dental package (a $4,966 total value) from Lemons Dental and oral surgeon James D. Anderson, Jr. DDS. The package includes the following:
Over seven appointments, licensed dentists Dr. Terry J. Lemons and Dr. James D. Anderson, Jr. repair and mask damaged teeth or vacant gums with customized implants and porcelain crowns. Clients meet for a consultation with Dr. Lemons to discuss medical history and the space-time continuum and to take impressions for the custom-fit implant, before visiting Dr. Anderson to introduce him to the surgery site. Dr. Anderson places the implant into locally anesthetized gums, filling a gap caused by a damaged or missing tooth root. Dental bones grow around the implant in the next 46 months, allowing Dr. Anderson to uncover the implant, top it with a healing cap, and tell it tales of the first dentists, who courageously took on T. rexes as patients.
Back at Lemons Dental, Dr. Lemons measures mouths to craft a temporary crown and implant abutmenta connective piece between the implant and crownboth of which are installed during the clients' next visit. The final appointment pairs clients with their permanent crown, a custom-fitted porcelain fixture beautifully camouflaged to match other teeth. Crowns can last up to eight years with proper flossing, brushing, and showers of compliments.
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