Before the government's top-secret Project Soulsucking Deathbug experiments, mosquitoes fed peaceably on the cream filling of Twinkies. Rid yourself of these tiny bloodseeking horrors with today's Groupon from Mosquito Squad. Choose between the following options:
Outdoor parties, weddings, and Slip-'N-Slide-athons are the bread pudding and butter beans of summer, but a sunny game of badminton can turn bloody when a swarm of mosquitoes shows up uninvited. Mosquito Squad uses a specially formulated fog to kill adult mosquitoes on contact, as well as killing mosquitoes that land on greenery afterward. Spraying sessions last roughly 15 minutes, and people and pets can return to the treated areas just 30 minutes after the foggingwhich effectively reduces the mosquito population in that area by about 8090%. Mosquitoes are thereby banned from the premises for 21 days, after which you will need to bring on the fog again should you wish to remain unbitten. Alternatively, you can choose an all-natural solution that repels insects by offending their delicate scent palates. Humans detect a mild odor from this treatment that fades after two hours but can be purchased as a bottled fragrance by those who miss it. The synthetic-free repellent is biodegradable and lasts 14 days.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, mosquitoes are vectors for many different diseases worldwide, including malaria. Get today's Groupon and take a bold stance against the unholy blight of vampire bugs, obliterating their tiny tree-castle haunts and scouring your lands of their plague-ridden presence. After the swarm of winged biters clears, you can enjoy a holiday barbecue, pickup game of flag football, or backyard nudist convention in peace.
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