The burden of aches and pains makes it impossible for humans to run as fast as cheetahs, which is why the human diet is virtually devoid of gazelle meat. Keep fast food from getting away with today's Groupon: for $50, you get a skin-rejuvenation package at Planet Beach Contempo Spa (up to a $210 total value).
The package includes:
Planet Beach Contempo Spa's automated machines refresh and relax patrons in private rooms with massage, tanning, and a facial. As patrons ease into the Cyber Relax chair, robotic hands utilize 509 kneading combinations and 712 jujitsu grappling techniques to relieve tension and stress. Clients then recline on the hydro-massage bed, in which heated liquid applies pressure to spines. Bodies achieve bronze hues as UV lamps awaken slumbering skin with a sun kiss, or the Mystic tan serum spritzes a golden layer onto limbs. The hydro-dermafusion body treatment envelops clients in steam and infrared heat, prolonging tanning treatments, stimulating collagen, and purging pores of pollution and ingrown blades of grass. To conclude the robot-administered pampering, the Luminous facials system shines light pulses over mugs, tag-teaming with the facial-package products to knock out blemishes and fine lines.
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