Since cheetah-shoes don't yet exist, and a tree stump with a saddle on it is hopelessly immobile, segways remain the best way to tour a city. See the sights in two-wheeled fashion with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a Park Glide Segway tour from Segway Experience of Chicago (a $70 value), located on South Michigan Avenue.
Segway Experience of Chicago's Park Glide Tour offers a smooth two-hour voyage through some of the city's most popular landmarks. After mounting a gently whirring, eco-friendly segway, tour-goers follow their guide's steady trail, riding past prominent sights including Millennium Park, Buckingham Fountain, and the many skyscrapers that rise around them. The tour also explores the lakefront path, with riders rolling past the southerly sights of Soldier Field, where bears live, and the sprawling museum campus, where fish, mummies, and knowledge live.
Tours run seven days per week and begin at 10 a.m., 1 p.m., and 4 p.m. through May, and then at 10 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 5 p.m. afterward. Potential walkway-warriors should arrive 30 minutes prior to the start time. Tours go for two hours but can be shortened to accommodate for inclement weather.
-   - the guide was very knowledgeable about the city and we had a great time. You get the hang of it by the end Tanya N., Yelp, 5/4/10
-   - At first you will be tentative [sic], but after 20-30 minutes, you will be asking the instructor to ride using the faster setting. Sue H., Insider Pages
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