Less prone to explosions, bird collisions, and painful butt-burns, the Segway has edged out the jetpack as the official ride of the 23rd century. Today's Groupon gives you the chance to practice on these leisurely chariots of fire, lest the future overtake you at 12.5 miles per hour: for $37, you get a one-hour guided tour of downtown from Segway Tours of Grand Rapids (a $75 value).
As its name coyly implies, Segway Tours of Grand Rapids is the only Segway tour company in Grand Rapids. Get your Seg-legs up and running with a quick tutorial before taking off in the wake of an experienced tour guide on an hour-long riding tour. Glide past downtown sights such as the new Grand Rapids Art Museum, the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library and Museum, and the Grand Rapids Children's Museum for a thoroughly edifying view of educational edifices. Drive your chariot by the Alexander Calder sculpture La Grande Vitesse in the Civic Center, and pass the Sixth Street Dam to view the Grand River Sculpture and Fish Ladder without actually transmogrifying into a hideous merperson and delving into the watery depths to fight the octopus queen.
Entertain visiting friends and family, learn a slew of obscure facts that will definitely come in handy during future Jeopardy! appearances, and breeze past jealous, robotic tortoises with Segway Tours of Grand Rapids. Groups are limited to seven people, so call to reserve your tour 24 hours in advance. Tours are available seven days a week.
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