For centuries, mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. Todays Groupon gets you a safe and savory knead: for $25, you get a one-hour Swedish massage (a $49.95 value) at Zen Massage's Huntersville location.
Zen Massages friendly, professional therapists will knead your back into doughy bliss with an hour of connective strokes. The Swedish massage stimulates circulation and reduces emotional and physical stress by melting tense muscles like the sun melts scoops of ice cream. Each massage is customized to patient preferences, so therapists can use light, medium, or firm pressure to evict stress from your tissues and force it to take up residence in a stray dog's eyelashes. Zen Massage requests that clients arrive at least 15 minutes prior to their scheduled appointment.
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